I just celebrated my 3 year anniversary of being on meds nonstop. A proud accomplishment I suppose.
It still bums me out to know that I'll have to rely on meds to function in society for the rest of my life. I can't lose weight and then magically be able to stop taking the pills because the weightloss cured my ailment. I can't get a shot and get better. It is what it is.
I've been through so many since my last post. It got to the point that things were changing so rapidly as far as my meds go that it became pointless to even share with my friends and family, much less on a blog.
Today, I'm on 450 mg of Wellbutrin SR (tried to take that down to 300 to see if it would help with my anger/irritation levels but it just made it worse) 100 mg of Lamictal, still the Xanax as needed, and the most new is Trileptal as a mood stabilizer.
It turns out that my body responds better to the mood stabilizers than it does to the majority of antidepressants. I'm a difficult case to treat. I feel like my doctor thinks I"m making shit up because of all the side effects I get from different things. I stopped researching a new medicine before starting it... I just take it as I'm told and then make not of any side effects or interactions, or whatever so that I don't have any preconceived notion about any particular medicine...
This week I"m mentally exhausted, stressed out, tired, run down and want to climb in bed, hide from the world and sleep for like 72 hours straight.
I'm actually thinking about bumping up the newest med to see if it helps...
I'm not feeling completely hopeless at this point but just eh, blah, here.
Will see if it gets better this weekend...
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